I said to my friend, “You know when she talked about something that excited her, he would listen to her talk as though it was a life saving conversation. And in each of these conversations with her, he felt so connected to himself. He would watch her smile and his whole world would drown; she would smile again and rescue him from sinking into the flood of happiness. He would accidentally brush against her sleeve and apologize profusely. Her lips would draw into a knowing smile and his world would go sinking all over again.
There would be moments when he’d look at his drink and wonder why she wasn’t with him. Right at that moment, she would walk into the room as though she had heard his thoughts, wink at him and sit down at the table across him. He’d think to himself, how I love this woman. She is the one, I want to be with. She’d smile again and it was like magic. He would quickly sit up and think if he had said that out too loud. And looking at his puzzled expression, she would burst into peels of laughter. Oh, how I love this woman, he’d think again.
Every time she smiled, he fell in love, only to fall harder the next time she smiled at him. While his heart swayed to the music her smile played, he was unaware of how much she loved him. She kept her love hidden in a box, she called heart. Her feelings for him were quite deep like the bottomless ocean. So deep were they that even the most subtle glance from him would make her go weak in her knees. But he would never know. Her love was quiet and unmoving. She hoped they would all surface to the shore so that he could see what he meant to her. But she was afraid that the delicate shores of his heart might not be able to handle what lay deep inside of her. She wanted to be his happiness. She wanted to be the woman he would come home to every night. But such feelings seemed like an extinct mammoth thumping around in her heart. She wasn’t weary from the baggages that she carried on her shoulder. All she wanted to do was to lay her dreams before him and whisper to him to tread softly on them, for it was the only thing she had left.”
My friend replied, “I see why she must be scared.”
I continued, “Well, the dreams that she has are pieces of her heart that she stuck together after it was broken and shattered. She loved once, you know? She loved hard. But this was different. Watching him love her was like falling in love with herself.
When she loved before, she forgot to love herself, and when her heart was broken, she broke as well. She forgot to appreciate herself. She forgot she existed in the relationship. But later, she managed to find the broken pieces and fix herself together. She felt a little stunted and leaky with the missing pieces. But now, every time he called her name, she became whole again. The moments spent with him were filling the missing spaces of her heart like in Kintsugi.
When I first met her, she was afraid to fall in love with him. Well, she had a history with love and brokenness. She now believes that it is better to be broken than to be new. She is in love. She is ready to be loved.”
My friend finished, “And I think, she will be loved like the night sky loves the stars. He will light up her way back out of the fear and into his arms. I think, that’s what will happen.”